Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about the people who have the talent of being able to disappear from the face of the planet. I don't know how they do it (or why), but I've already met quite a number of them. Really.
It's so weird. Because you can't say they aren't reliable people. That's actually what makes it bad--because one moment, they're the nicest friends you've ever met, you know, the kind you think will always be there for you? And then the next, you can't see them, you can't communicate with them, as if they've been abducted by aliens. And then they come back after a few months (or days or years, and some don't ever come back at all), acting as if nothing happened, as if you were just talking to them yesterday, as if all the text messages you sent, all the e-mails you wrote, all the phone calls you made, happened just in your head.
And I'm not just talking about guys (because if I were, I'd be inclined to think that maybe they just don't like me). But I have a lot of friends who are girls, who are this way, too.
Take Friend #1, for example. Last year, I planned a summer getaway for our group, and she was the one who helped me from the beginning and until the end of our vacation. She helped me with the reservations, pestered our other friends for their payment, and helped me convince them that we should all get together because it's been a while since we last saw each other.
I was really grateful for her help. I was happy that I had a friend whom I could go with to summer outings, and even help me organize them. But then, a few months after that, she stopped replying to text messages, e-mails, and had even deleted her blog from existence. Nobody we knew had any idea where she went. And short of going to her house (which isn't easy to go to, she lives in the province), all the forms of communication we've tried to be able to contact her, failed.
I don't get it. It wasn't like we had a fight or anything. And maybe she was busy, but is it really that impossible to send a single text message to even just one of us (There are 6 of us in the group, by the way) to say what she's been up to?
And it wasn't the first time she's done it. She actually pops in and out of our lives quite often. It's not really a bad thing. I'm grateful she's still my friend despite her busy schedule, and all the other changes that have happened since we graduated college. But it does make me sad, because I never know when it's the last time we'll see each other before another long period of time. And it's sad too, because eventually there are other events (like birthdays) when we want to see her and catch up, but we have no idea where to find her or contact her.
Friend #2 is just as transient. I knew him from high school, and we've kept in touch throughout college and after it. Normally, I chatted with him in YM, and sometimes we would meet, or talk to each other on the phone. But again, due to our busy schedules (because of work, and other stuff), there would be lapses in our communications. Sometimes just a few weeks, sometimes months. And it didn't bother me at all, because I was just as guilty when it came to "not keeping in touch". I have no right to say that he hasn't been calling me or whatever, because I haven't been calling him either. What upsets me now though, is when I did call him a few months ago, the one who answered the phone (I'm assuming his sister) said that he's already gone to the U.S. Permanently.
What was that?! He never even hinted that he was going. And migrating to the U.S., I'm sure everyone knows, is not exactly something that happens overnight. You have to go through an excruciatingly long process before you can legally get there and get a job, but he never mentioned anything. He never even mentioned the possibility of it. And yeah, sure, organizing your documents and other stuff will make you a busy person, but would you really be that busy to not even say goodbye to your friends?
So, I e-mailed him, and asked him how he was and all that. I didn't even say anything about him not saying goodbye. But to this day, I haven't received his reply. So maybe he changed his e-mail address as well. But, I can't think of a reason why.
Why sever his relations with the people back home? Does he hate us that much? Again, we didn't fight or anything. And maybe I wouldn't be so upset if we were just mere acquaintances, but we are (or were, I guess) actually really close friends. We've known each other for a long time, and I really wouldn't say that our friendship is one of those incidental ones that you forget after a while. It's just weird.
And then I have another friend, Friend #3, who I met a few years ago, and is a blast to hang out with and talk to, and we have a lot of common friends so we saw each other often whenever we had friend get-togethers. Eventually, he started attending less and less of those events, and he said it was because of his work, which is very understandable. People go crazy because of work. I wouldn't blame them if they didn't show up at all the birthday parties and baptisms of our friends' kids and all that. What I can blame them for, though, is not replying to e-mails, and text messages (yes, this is mainly my problem).
Okay, let's say his phone got stolen. So yeah, he wouldn't be able to receive messages on it anymore. But do e-mail addresses ever get stolen?
Well then, let's say his e-mail address was hacked. But is it likely that all of his other internet stuff--Friendster, Multiply, Livejournal, DeviantArt, etc. would get hacked as well? And even if they did, is it that hard to make a new e-mail account to tell people that he got hacked? I haven't changed my e-mail address. And it's so easy to remember. Google my name and you'll find it. You'll probably even find this blog.
Why do they do it? I honestly don't think there's anything more I can do. I'm one of the easiest people to find. Online and off. I haven't changed my address since birth, I've had the same job for 2 years, my phone number hasn't changed since high school, and I hang out in the same places. They absolutely cannot make the excuse that they couldn't reach me. So, the question really is, why won't they?
And in case you think I'm really the one with the problem, well, I would have to tell you that they haven't communicated with my other friends (our common friends) either. Now unless all my other friends are involved in a conspiracy to get me out of their lives, I'd say that the 3 individuals mentioned above really made the choice not to communicate with me.
I don't know. Maybe they want to forget their past and start a new life. But isn't that just a bit unfair to those of us who get left behind? What did I do to hinder them from becoming what they want to be? It's not like I would've told Friend #2 not to go the U.S. I just wish he could've said goodbye. And the same goes for Friends #1 and #3. I mean, I know it's possible, and I'm never going to be able to change how life is, but honestly, it really makes me sad, that there are people like these who come into your life, and then just disappear without telling you anything.
And I'm supposed to just sit here and accept that reality. %$#%$^! It's bad enough that some of us lose our loved ones unexpectedly due to accidents, but some of us have to lose our friends for no reason, too?
