I finished watching Hana Kimi just last weekend and wanted to write a review about it. It's only now that I found the time to do so. But unfortunately, my mind's not on it anymore. But before I tell you why, I will say what I think about it, first.

(By the way, there aren't too many explanations on the plot, so I guess you have to have an idea on what they're basically about to understand what I'm saying.)

Hana Kimi

I'm going to start off by saying that I'm not a big fan of the whole cross-dressing thing. Sure, it was fun when it was Shakespeare, but after a while it gets overused, and it becomes less and less funny, and therefore less interesting. So I really thought I wouldn't like any more variations of it. But then, almost magically, a copy of Hana Kimi fell into my lap. (I'm not kidding, my friends just gave me a copy. For no reason at all. Aren't they nice?!)

And I have to say, that when there's a good enough reason for it, I guess, them gender-bender plots aren't that bad after all.

What I really like about this drama is how it was able to justify everything that happened--why the lead character (Ashiya) ran away from home and disguised herself as a boy just to see the high-jumper Sano Izumi; why Nakatsu found himself falling deeper and deeper into love with Ashiya; it even justified the title: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e. For You in Full Blossom.

Fluffy goofy funny stuff aside, I honestly think that there's a deeper theme in this drama (which I think is explained by the title). It's not just about some girl with raging hormones who's desperate to see the guy she likes, but more about the craziness and complexities of youth. The character of Nakatsu, for one, has an internal struggle regarding his sexuality, which is something that I guess any student of an all-boys (or all-girls) high school would go through. And Sano Izumi, also has an internal struggle, of overcoming his fear of not being able to meet his father's (or his fans or his own) expectations, to be able to do the thing that he loves the most. As for Ashiya, running away from home to help a person she believes in, it's just like the whole "follow your dream" thing, which I guess, is what people usually say when they want you to enjoy your life to the fullest.

And at the ending [SPOILER ALERT: Please highlight to read], Sano's line was just perfect:

And I realized how much I missed it! I really feel that my previous review (if you could call it that, considering how short it is), really didn't give it any justice. But it's mostly because I just can't find the words to describe how much I love this drama.

Honestly, it's just too good, I think that whatever I say won't be enough. It's really weird, because I usually have no problems expressing myself, but I guess once in a while, there are things like this that I just, yeah, proves that I'm a disappointment as a writer. Hehe. Well, I'm not a real writer anyway, but what the hell, let my try again.

Don't get me wrong. I love Hana Kimi to bits. And it's really hard to compare these two (or any other j-drama) because they're very different from each other. What I mean by saying this one distracted me from liking the other one too much is because I can relate to this one more. Other than the obvious fact that the characters in Hana Kimi are younger than I am now, and the characters in Proposal Daisakusen are pretty much in the same stage in their life as I am now (graduated from college and is new to the "working" status, and some friends are getting married), this drama is about coping with change, which, if you know me, you'll know is something that I really have a hard time with.

The problem of the lead character, Ken Iwase, isn't really just losing the girl of his dreams. But letting go of the things he's been used to his whole life, and accepting the inevitable changes that happen to people. Plus, there's the element of time-travel (which I have a big bias for), and the soundtrack is just fantastic.

I could probably go on and on with how nostalgic it makes me, even if I wasn't the manager of our high school's baseball team, and I didn't make friends with my professors, and didn't go to a dorm in college, or even have a childhood best friend whom I'm secretly in love with. But the emotions of the characters, their attitudes towards the things and events that happen, their keeping with their friends' traditions, and everything else...

I'm just so at a loss for words (haha, yeah, this is me being at a loss for words, I've written so much already! :P). Let's just say that I saw this drama a year ago, and saw several dramas after it (including Hana Kimi and part of Nodame), but until now, I'm still so dazed about it.

Wah, if only I could watch J-doramas all day...

My cousin saw me reading a Lawrence Block book at her party.

Cousin: Ate, mahilig ka magbasa ng books?
Me: Oo.
Cousin: Nagbabasa ka ng mga kay Sidney Sheldon?
Me: Hindi.
Cousin: 'Eh 'yung A Walk to Remember, 'yung mga kay Nicholas Sparks, nagbabasa ka?
Me: Hindi.
Cousin: Nabasa mo na 'yung The Secret?
Me: Hindi.
Cousin: Okay...

Yeah. I'm confused with the situation, too.

If you're one of the people who know exactly what they want and how to get it, go away! I don't like you!

Or, to be more accurate, I so envy you. How do you do it? Figure out what you want, come up with a plausible plan to get it, and then succeed? I mean, with all the choices we have in this world, and the limitations of being human (huwat?! kunwari daw philosophical ako ), how do you know just what you want to have?

I think I'm one of the most indecisive people in the world. Seriously. I didn't know where I wanted to study college, didn't know what course I wanted to take, still don't know what to do with my life, and yeah, it could just be a quarter-life crisis thing, but this lack of talent in decision-making extends to even the simplest things!

I said a year ago that I wanted a computer for myself, and so I started saving money. I have a nice amount saved up now, but I have no idea what to buy! Do I buy a desktop? A laptop? And what are the specs?

When my cousin bought himself a camera last year, he spent nearly 9 months dreaming of having that specific model in his hands. He even downloaded the manual before he bought the camera! He was that decided on buying it, and only waited that long because that's how long it took him to come up with the money for it. But for me, despite having asked my friends (and my brother) endless questions on which computer to buy, and thinking about it for several months as well, I still don't know what I want!

And no, I don't know what I want to eat for lunch either, or what to wear to the office tomorrow, or whether or not I should cut my hair, and which haircut I want in case I do decide to get it cut. Heck, I don't even know which one is my favorite character in Hana Kimi, or which is my favorite F4 member (yes, after 7 years, I'm still undecided  I don't even like/see/listen to them anymore, but it's frustrating not to have a memory of who was my favorite), or what my favorite color is. I mean, I used to like blue through and through, but then I began to like red and pink and black and white and green and orange and purple and brown (sometimes). And I don't have a favorite song, favorite artist, favorite movie, favorite book... It actually takes me a long time to answer surveys and stuff because I don't know what to answer to them! And if you follow my other blogs (at least the active ones, like my livejournal), you'll know that I keep changing the layout/theme every once in a while. In fact, the only reason I don't do that to this blog, is because I've made the text grey (which is also another favorite color of mine, btw), and it would be hard to change the color for all the entries if I choose a layout/theme that isn't gray-friendly.

My friend says my indecisiveness is because I'm so afraid to make mistakes. I don't know what to choose because I'm afraid of the consequences in case I choose the wrong option. If I choose a computer, and it turns out to be a bad computer, I'll hate myself too much for having spent money on it. And I really feel bad when people tell me they don't like my choices either, like if they say they don't like the model of the cellphone I have, I'd feel really stupid for choosing it. Maybe I care too much what other people think. And having done that for most of my life, now, I have no idea what it is that I honestly, really want.

Gosh. Decision-making is hard, yeah?

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I'm crabby.

And when I say "crabby", I mean, I keep snapping at people who don't deserve to get snapped at.

It's because I'm in a bad mood. I'm not really sure why. I have a few ideas, but I wouldn't want to bore you with them, so suffice it to say that I'm just not in a great mood lately, and that's why I'm so sensitive (and insensitive to others).

And I'm writing this entry for the people who I snapped at, and said some weird things to (that they don't deserve).

I'm really sorry. I'm in one of those moods that make me act stupid. I'll try to snap out of it soon. Sorry.

Right. I was planning on posting something on the 29th because hey, it's that day that only comes every four years! But unfortunately, I wasn't able to get my hands on a computer yesterday, and I didn't want to cheat by changing the post date of this entry (because you know, blog authors can do that :P). As to why I wasn't able to get my hands on a computer, it's because yesterday, I was sick.

S-I-C-K. Sick. Those of you who know me personally, I'm sure, will tell me that I'm always sick (in the head) anyway, but seriously, I had a fever yesterday, and had no energy to do anything but sit around at home, and watch House reruns. I thought watching people sicker than I was would make me feel better, but it didn't. As it turns out, water and good ol' Vitamin C still did the trick.

Actually, I'm still feeling quite sick at the moment. My throat is itchy, and it takes very little for me to get dizzy. Add to that the fact that I have a quiz in my Japanese class this afternoon, and it makes for a very nauseated me. But what I feel most badly about is how when Thursday night, I and my officemates went to Friday's (You know, TGIF, the restaurant) to celebrate two of our officemates' birthdays, I ate baby back ribs and pork chops and shrimp and mashed potatoes, only to throw it all up the moment I got home.

"At least you won't get fat," my mom said. And I'm thinking, yeah, that's what I'm concerned about. :P

Gah. I hate being sick.

In other news, my former co-teacher Honey gave me a virtual gift over at her blog.

Isn't that sweet?

Thanks, Honey!!

Rules:

Answer the questions below.
Do a Google image search with your answer.
Take a picture from the first page of results.
Don't copy the answers of the person who posted this before you.

1. The age you'll be on your next birthday: 24

2. A place you'd like to travel: Venice

3. Your favorite place: Japan

4. Your favorite food: Chocolates

5. Your favorite animal: Giraffe

6. Your favorite color: Red

7. First name of your significant other: Not Applicable

8. The town in which you live in: Las Piñas

9. Your screen name: miriyammqx

10. Your first job: English Tutor

11. A bad habit you have: Tactlessness

12. Your worst fear: The Future

I'm obviously rediscovering Rivermaya, hence my 3 consecutive posts about them. Pasensya, minsan lang naman ito.

Anyway, just wanted to share... I brought my Tuloy Ang Ligaya album to the office today so copy the songs to my computer (No, I won't upload them to the internet). And when I opened the case, I noticed that I wrote my name and the date I bought it on the cover. It's nothing unusual really, as I normally do that to everything I buy (usually books), but this time I even wrote the day I bought it (Sunday), and the branch I got it from (Tower Records, ATC). Vaguely remembering that there was more to this album than meets the eye, I spread out the entire cover (with the lyrics on it), and turned it over, and discovered that it was autographed!

That's when the memory came rushing back into my head, clear as day. I was coming home from a project my blockmates and I worked on in Pampanga, and while still in SLEX, I got an SMS from my friend saying she was going to the Rivermaya album launch in ATC. She said that the band would be there, including the new members, and that there would be an autograph session afterwards.

So instead of going home, I went straight to Tower Records, met up with my friends and we bought ourselves a copy of the then new album -- Tuloy Ang Ligaya. It came with a free Rivermaya poster, and yes, this was also the time when they would give Pulp Magazine for free whenever you bought a CD from Tower Records. Anyway, we waited a few minutes until the promoters of the event came and said that they'd be giving freebies before the band got there.

For the prize of an autographed poster, they asked the crowd who would be able to show them the highest top score on the Snake game. (Yes, this was the era where "snake" was the coolest cellphone game ever! :P) And mine just happened to be 3428 (or something like that, basta more than 3000), so I won the poster. :)

Eventually, the band came and performed some songs from their new album, not missing the carrier single Umaaraw, Umuulan. But the one I liked best at that time was Imposible. It was the first time I saw Rico Blanco up close (Tower Records is a relatively small place, and there weren't that many people that day), and Mark Escueta, and the then new band members -- Kakoi Legaspi, Mike Elgar and Japs Sergio. I asked them to sign both the CD cover, and the poster that I'd gotten for free from buying the album. My friend even asked them to sign the page where the article about them was, in Pulp Magazine.

All in all, I came home with one autographed CD, two autographed posters, and new excitement for the new Rivermaya. We eventually decided to give the extra poster as a gift to another friend (and a fellow Rivermaya fan), and I kept the other one in my closet (right next to my Takeshi poster :P).

I guess it's really just a normal autograph-signing event, but that was my first time to ever get anything autographed, and just remembering it makes me feel giddy again. That was a really nice day. And I missed that time when I was passionate about an artist.

And yes, I still like Rivermaya until now, but I have to admit, I'm not that excited to jump on the jeepney that'll take me to their gig. I want to see them, but I wouldn't go out of my way, like I had when they launched the Tuloy Ang Ligaya album. It's got nothing to do with Rico Blanco no longer being in the band or whatever obvious reason that Rivermaya has changed, but more to do with how those fan girl moments are really as fleeting as any other feeling there is in this world. But I'm glad that like everything else in this world, there is something that can make us go back to that point in time, and make us feel what we've felt, what we've forgotten how to feel, or perhaps replaced with something else. I kind of get now why some people like music so much. :)