 |
|
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
So about a week ago, I was talking with my friend and she was telling me about how much she was dreading this reunion thing she was with her friends from high school. It wasn't that she didn't miss them, she just didn't like the thought of having to answer, yet again, all those questions about her love life, or lack thereof.
We both rolled our eyes. Apparently, out of her 19 friends from high school (she studied in an all-girls school), she is the only one who doesn't have/has never had a boyfriend. And all her friends are bugging her about it. Even her own mother is. She said that nearly everyone she knew was criticizing her on how she prefers to research about Korean boybands on the internet rather than try to find someone real (not a celebrity), to like. I suppose she was asking me for advice on how to handle them, but really, all I could say was, I could totally relate.
Several weeks ago, I found out that yet another one of my friends has gotten himself a girlfriend. I wasn't really surprised. Somehow, lately, that's all the news I've been hearing about my friends. But anyway, the one who told me about it, didn't have a girlfriend himself, and since he was the only guy in our group who still didn't have a girlfriend (or just broke up with one), he called himself 'The Last Man Standing', the only one who still hasn't caved into getting into a relationship, and probably wouldn't cave anytime soon. I believed him. I mean, why wouldn't I? Aside from my sister, (and the friend I mentioned at the start of this entry) he's one of the few people I could talk to, who wouldn't criticize me, about how much I love being single. And sure, he never really agreed with me completely, because unlike me, he still hasn't shut the door on the possibility, but it was definitely apparent, that he was in no hurry to find himself a girlfriend. He was enjoying life, even without one. As was I. And I'm being completely honest (not sarcastic) that we weren't bitter at all.
Even more weeks ago in fact, another one of my friends told me that she and her 'suitor' had gotten together. And if only I wasn't one of her best friends, I'm pretty sure she'd have hated me for my reaction, because as soon as I found out about her and her new 'status', I told her that I wasn't happy for her at all. In fact, I was a bit sorry for her, because now that she has a boyfriend, she would change. Of course she assured me that she'd still be the same old friend I've known since I was 6, and that she's really making an effort to not make her boyfriend the center of her universe, but I didn't believe her. Why would I? It's not like she's showing any evidence that she's keeping true to her word.
I never understood it. Until now, I still don't. And spare me the long boring lectures on how I only don't understand it because I've 'never been in love'. I've seen enough people fall in and out of love to know, that I absolutely, completely do not like being in a relationship, with anyone. Because seriously, no matter what you do, you change. And what you change into, is something that's just so... common, so... mainstream, that I don't get why people would sometimes willingly subject themselves to such kind of transformation. We're all already so unique, and great, and so amazing, by ourselves.
When we're in a relationship, it doesn't matter how smart we are, how exceptional, how talented... All couples, and I mean all, no exceptions, are all pretty much the same. They just use different words of endearment, go to different places for dates, and watch different movies, etc. but when you get right down to it, they're all the mushy-gushy-you-complete-me-we're-soulmates-thinking kind of people. They share things to each other they wouldn't share with anyone else, and don't get me wrong, I believe it's nice to have something like that, but somehow, I always see it as something that takes away somebody's individuality. And again, spare me all those 'I'm still myself, just with somebody else' stuff. I've seen enough and heard about enough relationships, both of those that work out, and don't work out. There are no exceptions. All couples will eventually have to compromise, find a common ground between them in order to get along and make the relationship work. And, okay, maybe this is a good thing, because sooner or later you're going to have to adjust for all the people around you anyway. No man is an island, we all affect one another, blah, blah, blah... But still, what kind of information would a significant other offer that's different from what you can learn from your friends and everyone else?
Okay, maybe a lot, especially if you're the kind of person who's a bit lost in this world and doesn't know what to do with his/her life. But what if you're not? What if you're one of those who's already in touch with reality, knows what's going on in the world and accepts life as it is, looks to the future as an interesting challenge, and lives life to fullest? What if you're like my friend, who is the 'last man standing' because he knows that relationships only complicate matters and heaven knows life is complicated enough without it? Why, in the world, would you deem it necessary to change sides and suddenly propagate that just like everyone, you're willing to be in a relationship, which you say is definitely not going to change you but even if it does, so be it?
My friend told me that I was probably only reacting this way because I've never met the girl he's apparently, now "dating". But it's not that at all. And don't anyone dare accuse me of jealousy. Because it's not about the girl at all. Even if she happened to be the greatest person in the world, that's not what matters (though that leads me to think that if she really was so great, then how come she doesn't stay single?). What matters is that my friend, whom I used to think made sense, whom I thought understood, who was the 'last man standing', is now, also, without exception, one of them, one of those who will change their Friendster status' (statii?) into "In a Relationship" with a silly smile of his face.
Now nobody's standing anymore. Perhaps I'd be a better friend if I just shut up and become supportive. Everyone deserves to be happy anyway. Maybe even I'd be happy if I did fall in love somehow and understand and relate to all these things. But then, I wouldn't be myself. And again, spare me the lecture on how I can become an even better person compared to who I am now, etc. etc. I know I still have a lot to learn, but I'm sure, no amount of information will make me susceptible to change. Hating change is the one thing that's remained consistent with me over the years, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Posted at 12:18 by miriyammqx
 | | | kai
November 13, 2007 02:00 PM PST
so now ida, after 2 years and being in love what can you say..? m sure sasabihin mo, a lot has changed.. blah blah blah.. weiz.. i think i agree to shiro's point.. i would want my would-be relationship to be such.. but then you'll never know.. me, though i always try to be sure of myself, am not sure what's gonna happen if i "finally" meet kar-kar (will i ever?) or someone special.. :p | |
| | | spired
January 14, 2005 06:42 PM PST
whats the big deal of being in love?
staying single is good!
good choice Takeshi!
:)
| |
| | | anonymous
January 5, 2005 12:18 PM PST
"I never understood it. Until now, I still don't. And spare me the long boring lectures on how I only don't understand it because I've 'never been in love'. I've seen enough people fall in and out of love to know, that I absolutely, completely do not like being in a relationship, with anyone. Because seriously, no matter what you do, you change. And what you change into, is something that's just so... common, so... mainstream, that I don't get why people would sometimes willingly subject themselves to such kind of transformation. We're all already so unique, and great,and so amazing, by ourselves"
no offense, but just because you don't understand something doesn't mean that you'd be so closed minded about it.
sure, they change. but doesn't everyone change when they meet someone? a friend, a co-worker, a boss, the kid on the street begging for a few coins. they change you. you just don't know it. it's just SO apparent with couples doing the mushy things they're supposed to do (i'm generalizing here, too).
so, before you say "spare me the line 'you've never been in love'"... i dare you to try it first. just because you've seen it, doesn't mean that it IS it. experience is still the best teacher. well.. i'm not saying that you go looking for one male specie and declare love (omfg..XD).. but when you've experienced it.. go back to this post of yours... THEN tell me if your views are still the same. _\/,,, | |
| | | mmmqx
December 3, 2004 04:46 AM PST
@joli: i'm not launching an attack on you. okay, maybe i am. though i'm pretty sure i'd lose so i wouldn't get too serious about that battle.
anyways, about drake and takeshi, of course, i would love to be the gf of either of them, and marry them if i can :P and i'll surely turn into one of them mushy-gushy people who are part of a couple, but you see, that's why i'm fighting to stay single. so i don't ever become like that. i never said i wouldn't be like that if i get myself into a relationship, right? never said i was an exception, which is why i'm choosing to stay single, so i never become pathetic like that. (not that you're pathetic, just, most people. wait, did that just sound like another attack? :P) | |
| | | joli
December 2, 2004 06:21 PM PST
ei wala lang tagal ko na di napadaan dito a...
oh, well...am defensive coz u're launching an "attack" on us haha :)
well, what can i say? love does change you but hey, the change isn't always THAT much and isn't always THAT bad.
for example, drake makes you feel all weak in the knees, right? hopefully, he also inspires you-- enough to make you want to do better in the other stuff you're into. (yuky, mushy but true)
so it ain't all bad.
i'm sure IF u do find yourself getting into a relationship someday (which isn't hard to imagine), i'm sure you WILL reconsider most of the things you wrote ;)
ttfn | |
| | | J
October 29, 2004 07:54 PM PDT
hmmm... i don't think it's about your friend meeting the greatest girl in the world that he 'caved in'... just ask him. if he can't provide a good reason behind it, just be supportive. or at least pretend to be. you might be surprised how, sooner or later, you'd be able to understand it without his better explanation. (sorry if this doesn't make any sense...) | |
| | | ivu_no_kane
October 26, 2004 02:54 AM PDT
why do the girl sound so familiar? hahahahahahahaahahha...anyway...ida, i miss you...i really really do! right now, after work, i just literally lie on the bed and sleep...hope to see you soon<3333 | |
| | | shiro
October 24, 2004 11:41 AM PDT
ida... sorry if i sounded like i was proselytizing... i personally am not in a relationship also.
just basically related to you how i want the next relationship to be, because for me, i see myself being in another one. it's just how i am i guess.
you've made your choice. and i totally respect you for that. everyone should as well. :) | |
| | | mmmqx
October 24, 2004 06:21 AM PDT
@shiro: while i'm very much appreciative of your efforts in reading my entry & leaving a comment, i can't help but point out that it's kind of one of those lectures i was asking readers to spare me from. and although it's a very interesting point you made, i've already heard it before, and am afraid that my issues on relationships are a bit more complicated, because i already have knowledge of what you said before i wrote this entry. but thanks so much for caring.
@joli: 'to naman, defensive! :P great to hear from you nonetheless. and i'm glad ur comment's long. means u genuinely read the entry. :D | |
| | | joli
October 24, 2004 01:09 AM PDT
im here again
that (guy) shiro said it quite well...
but i doubt if it's possible to not need that someone you're getting in relationship with.
so i guess it's healthy to need your partner BUT not too much that you become too dependent and lose yourself in the process... (and gawsh, this happens A LOT)
ida baby...im sorry for the long comment, couldn't help myself... gotta stand up for love sumtyms...:) | |
| | | shiro
October 23, 2004 09:12 AM PDT
it's a pipe dream but...
the best relationship is one you get into because neither of you NEED each other. for anything...
no needs, no expectations, no disappointments...
each of you secure in your own identity.
each of you knowing that it is not the relationship that defines you, but it is because you know who each of you is that both of you have chosen to get into the relationship... not to become co-dependent, but to help each other on their journeys toward self-realization. | |
| | | joli
October 21, 2004 04:41 AM PDT
hi there..
ohmygosh...ida, you and your musings on love...
it's funny how for someone who doesn't technically have a "love life"...u talk an awful lot about the subject. (no offense, nuthn wrong wd that naman, dba?)
gawsh, what can i say...u make a lot of good points right there. and oh yeah, a lot of them are sorta darted towards us, (oh my, i'm one of them) "people in love."
but then again, being in love works for me... i've been in that phase (if i may call it a phase) i can see you're in right now. i mean it's awfully cool that you're secure about yourself and all...WE all should be like that. (unfortunately, not all people are strong enough to be like you, ida...(meant that as a compliment :)
but as for CompromisE, i don’t think it’s the real issue. anyway, it's a necessary evil isn't it? i bet NO one can say that they've NEVER compromised with anyone. being born into a family already entails a heck of a lot of compromise.
but think about it, if you really, truly, madly, deeply are in a loving relationship…you should be “complementing” each other. there wouldn’t be much compromise…and if there are some, hopefully they’re for the better. besides, if you find yourself changing too much being with that person...or if he's the one trying to change you...bolt out of that liaison NOW and fast...haha :)
this is for everyone to remember: hold on to who you think you are. your self-image and even your relationship are headed for a train wreck if you get yourself a significant other when you don’t even have a real sense of self...
i mean, i'm the type who will not settle for less. i wouldn't be in a relationship just for the sake of having one. and if i were to give one piece of “love advice” to people...that would be it. it’s not a matter of how soon you catch yourself a fish in the sea…it’s who that fish is (get it? me and my corny illustrations!)
so maybe i’m just saying all this because i am one of those "lost" ones in this world who need another human being to share my life with. but there ain’t nuthin wrong with that now, is there? i mean, what then will i do with all this spunk, originality and angst? haha :D
i'd love to say that my boyps and i are different because i feel like we're somewhere in between lovey-dovey/joined at the hip AND being two completely separate entities. hmm, then again, every couple will 'claim' to be just like us... whatever. i just know this much is true(sounds familiar)...even if we don't eventually end up with each other...i think i pretty much bagged myself a best-friend-for-life out of this bf/gf thing. seriously. you can quote me on that.
now here comes the mushy part, after all fuss about the “C” word, once it’s all done...how bout thinking bout of all the benefits you get from a true-honest-to-goodness love life...don't they outweigh the bad stuff? constant inspiration, a feeling of at-least-someone-loves-me when you’re going through that i-hate-the-world phase, etc.............,,,
you must've heard all of that before. i don't think i can ever make a foolproof case for us kids in love. you make a great argument for single people out there. i just feel like, in these postmodern times, people should be free to travel whichever road they want to take. hopefully, because it’s their choice and they didn’t do it just because the Hallmark cards say so.
your friend doesn’t deserve to get flak for being single and shouldn’t feel bad about doing the Road Less Traveled gig. but neither should her friends seem like sellouts. different strokes for different folks baby…
haha senxa na ang haba...kahit na ano pa sabihin ko...it doesn't change the fact that you rock girl! love how your mind works girl! nyak, biglang cambio! ;P
basta, yun na. joli :) eto na lang short and swak::::: kapag niligawan ka ni drake, di mo siya sasagutin kasi ayaw mo magbago? change CAN be good sometimes :)
“because of love, we are together...because of love, we have a father...because of love, you have my heart(?)...because of love, we’ll never part...” -janet | |
| | | danes
October 20, 2004 06:16 AM PDT
lol. i bet if all the couples read this entry, you'd be beaten to a pulp. haha!
but i don't mind. heck, i'm single too! :)
while I'm not completely adverse about the thought of being in a relationship, I don't mind being in one, i guess. i just don't want to be engulfed in it..if ya know what i mean. I want to be myself, forever! as in kahit kasal na ako! ayokong magbago! mwahahaha. (can i be any more narcissistic?)
though i do think that it's completely possible for two people not to change (and by change i mean those big changes) even if they're in a relationship. THIS is the kind of relationship i want, and i think this can be achieved if your significant other has been your friend for so many fucking years that you know each other well enough to finish each other's sentences.
(hell, yeah, i'm a close-friends-turned-into-boyfriend-girlfriend-relationships advocate) i just think that if this is the case, chances are they know each other too well and they've already accepted each other's faults, therefore needing no change! haha. of course that's just my little ole theory (that hasn't been put to test by moi.. yet.) | |
| | | zee rocks
October 19, 2004 01:31 PM PDT
'mushy-gushy-you-complete-me-we're-soulmates-thinking'.. bwahahaha! whatdafuck?!? | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ida /ee-da/ n. 1. Born on September 17, 1984. 2. Likes people to greet her on her birthday. 3. Loves reading books but hates buying them and always prefers them as gifts. 4. Has a sudden liking for mysteries. 5. A little too obvious when hinting for presents.
|
|
|
Quote for the Time Being "Practice makes perfect."
"Nobody's perfect."
"Then, why practice?!" :P
Links Sources on the Yasutoko Brothers Goodskates, Inc. - the Official Website of the Yasutokos - contains news about the brothers schedules, message, accomplishments, and also information about their family skatepark in Kobe, Japan.
Yasutoko--Aggrist! - Korean fan site about the brothers. The text is in Korean, but pics, videos and music are great! And if you look back far enough in the guestbook, you'll find an entry from Eito Yasutoko himself!
Bikes, Boards, Blades Website - one of the most interesting (and I think most accurate) articles written about the Yasutoko brothers. A little old, but still a good read.
Sk8Mag.de - interview of Takeshi Yasutoko after winning the gold medal in the Redbull Highrollers Competition 2003. (Site is originally in German, hope this link from Google translates to English directly.)
Watch Them Fly - Exclusive Interview with The Yasutoko Brothers - interview with the Yasutoko brothers when they went to Malaysia in 2002. (Courtesy of X-Fresh Malaysia, an on-line magazine)
Takeshi Yasutoko conquers the Asian X-Games! - about Takeshi's 98.25 and plenty more info on the Asian X-Games 2004. (Again, courtesy of X-Fresh Malaysia--it's such a nice website)
The Sun, Rising, Jumping and Spinning at High Velocity / Who Says Men Can't Fly? / Awaiting X-Games X / Double WHAT?! / Re-vert / How I Wish... / All in the Family / Growing Up... - my entries with links regarding the Yasutokos Bloggers... zee rocks ...
...stranded.incinerated...
...the daily inquibbler...
...leli mcbealisms...
...names don't matter...
...anticipating serendipity...
...la bellissima...
...flicker of dreams...
...in the hidden pages of my notebook...
...a fool's prerogative...
...times like these...infinite sadness...
...polka dots...
...story of a girl...
...waking dream...
...thinking out loud...
...**kisses...
...kitkat56...
...a pitcher plant story...
...stardust...
...diary of honey...
...mind drifter...
...beauty...
...ves...
...endless episode...
...all about mardk...
...bittersweet avenue...
...push...
...journeys...
...by myself, but never alone...
...sole insanity...
...barenaked...
...un monde parfait...
My Other Sites Wala Lang!
fanfiction.net
Fiction Press
.products of imagination.
...between trailers...
+Ed is On+
**nocturnal screen
Dokomademou Ikou More Other Sites ...ang mahiwagang turron...
...EXPN Website...
...Asian X-Games...
...ESPN TV Schedule...
...Japanese Language Tutorial...
My Favorites The Result of Boredom and Obsession - my first entry. why I decided to create a blog.
Who Invented Blogs? - discussion on my fascination with blogs
Coming Clean, Theory and Back to the Obsession- an attempt at an explanation on why I'm still single.
I don't have a title for this one and that's okay - the freedom of the internet
Sense of Relationship - why some people remain single all their lives
Start - how I got obsessed with the Yasutoko Brothers in the first place
Is Fate With Me Or Against Me? - read how I met Takeshi Yasutoko in person, and how it saved my life (or, maybe it's more the opposite--you decide)
Science of Love - how "talking about love is like dancing about architecture."
I'm Wishing on the Sun - Can stars really make wishes come true?
Out of Character - how sometimes even your closest friends can surprise you
Where Can You Find Romance? - an attempt at grasping reality in Metro Manila
Back-to-School Blues - I don't have to go to school anymore!
I Should've Seen Filipinas Instead - discovering Mikel Campos
Recommended Fanfiction - I love fanfiction. Here are some of my favorites. Please check them out!
Change - It's hard enough to be yourself, why try to be somebody else?
And I'm Back - an account of my experience in Singapore and Bangkok
More Reasons to Watch Local Television - on Hero Angeles and Sandara Park
Minor de Edad at Walang Trabaho - musings at the hospital
Sleepwalking - some people can be dangerous, even when they're asleep
Follow Up - an update on Mikel Campos, and the link to his Candymag interview.
Mail Call - I got my diploma on Friday the 13th!
Yet Another Obsession - lyrics to Drake Bell's song "Girl Next Door"
I don't have a title again - Drake, Orly, and irritating cellphone servers
Creepy Coincidence - Is it really possible to be 'one of a kind'?
24 - countdown to my 20th birthday
Surprise! - a birthday surprise
Birthday Season - the advantage/disadvantage of September
Now Do I Have a Life? - one busy week
Which One's the Cutest? - Drake Bell and his cute puppies
The Last Man Standing - "I think therefore I'm single."
Risking Friendship - How many friends do you lose when you get into a relationship?
Missing - the winter camp brought about just one feeling
Environmental Complaints - why can't people just throw trash properly?
Irrelevant Information - what I'm interested in
Mind Over Matter - stubbornness works!
Three Day Weekend - review for the Korean Drama Full House
Ito Na Ang Update - after a brief hiatus...
Insatiable? - Man is insatiable. I am not.
Cue Girls Swooning - the start of an affection for Daniel Wu
4-Day Forecast - paano ba dapat malungkot?
FF7:Advent Children - a film worthy of the name Final Fantasy
Something There - Edison obsession
Hunter x Hunter - astig si Hisoka!
Comics Among Other Things - Blitzworx is finally out!
Ito Na Ang Orange Range - jpop/jrock/jrap? basta astig sila!
The Ida Precision Test - in case I ever get kidnapped by aliens...
2005 Review - just what the title says
Just Because I Was Tagged - something I refuse to list down
This is the Last Time... - moving on? Or just moving?
Busy Busy Busy - cosplay, UP fair and J-Pop at the Shang
It is this feeling... - Do you really need someone to fall in love with, to fall in love?
Happy Meals - Missing, Take 2
It's Gotta Be the Hair - and so starts the Abarai Renji obsession :P
Moving Forward - Change. It's constant.
The IDA Curse - See my true power! Hehehe. :P
On Meeting People - I hate meeting new people.
TV Series on DVD Killed the Hollywood Star - because Hollywood movies are getting suckier by the minute
What I Miss the Most - the only thing I miss about college
A Rather Late Account of the Komikon 2007 - Mangaholix 3!
Into the Woods and Another World - aftermath of a broadway musical and an anime convention
5 Days in Palawan - available in bookstores now! LitsPamaypay - a Filipino short story, set in high school Nicholas Was... - a short story about Christmas by Neil Gaiman For Ragnarok Addicts - Neil Gaiman's technology-addiction-related poem, " Virus" Heart Attack - just a bunch of pick-up lines related to heart problems A Tail of Two Kitties - writings that suck, but are funny nonetheless Juvenile Poetry - poem by my friend from HS While Waiting Alone in the Stock Room - my 100th entry! just some musings about life. Unfair - why can't people just feel the same way? Bumalik na Alaala - time heals all... "wounds" Sasayaw Kayo? - when someone's wearing the same color... Jeepney - libreng pamasahe? Pagmumuni-muni sa Daan - araw-araw akong naglalakad mag-isa. Gusto Kong Sumikat - tulad ng araw... Boracay Night - the beach isn't as romantic as everyone thinks Ang Ganda ng Kalikasan - nature rocks! Musings on the Road - English version? :P Rain - isn't the rain just so poetic? How Much? - how much can a person feel for another? On the Way, In the Way - an attempt at at Renji/Rukia fanfic Laughing and Smiling - irony of feelings? Bookworm in Distress - or maybe, damsel in distress in a bookstore. Time Flies - trying my hand at poetry (yet again) A Beginner's Tale - fooling around with TalecraftReviews Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The Burglar in the Rye
Alamat ng Gubat
Wander Girl
Boy Meets Girl
Parman
Kikomachine Komix Blg.1
Watchers
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Musikal
Quiz Results & Stuff 
be sorted @ nimbo.net
| How to make a miriyammqx |
Ingredients:
5 parts intelligence
5 parts humour
5 parts joy |
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge! |
|
|
|
|
