I know that I shouldn't be comparing anything, and I'm really not. I'm not saying one place is better than the other as the two are too different. I guess, what I really want to write about is how much I miss... Everything.
I used to think that jealousy was my least favorite emotion. But now I'm thinking that missing is. My emotions are so lagged. What's worse is that I don't know how I want things to turn out. Do I want to return to how things used to be? And if I do, at which point in the past would I want to return to?
"If you could go back in time, where would you go?"
A usual question in slambooks and whatnot. And I always answer "to high school". And though I still say that that was the happiest time ever, there's no denying that after high school, there were a lot of good times, too.
Back when I was graduating from elementary school, I told my friend that I was about to leave childhood behind and she just said;
"You don't have to leave it behind, you can bring it to high school!"
Perhaps that was the first time that I had the idea that there's never a need to leave anything behind. If you can bring your childhood into high school, why not into college, and into the years after that?
I didn't know I was subconsciously 
doing that until I saw again this picture from Elinia's Multiply:
Every Friday in my former office, we had a "dress up" day when we could wear something according to a theme chosen. On that day, the theme was "uniform" and so we wore the ones we used in high school (we went to the same school). We brought backpacks, wore black leather shoes, and (obviously) even ate on the floor, just like how we used to when we were freshmen and couldn't get a table at the cafeteria.
I miss it so much. Being like a kid, I mean. Especially, being like a kid amongst people who are also being like a kid.
Perhaps because I'm new, that's why I don't quite fit in yet. Although somehow, I don't think my new officemates will ever be amenable to my child-like ways. Didn't they make fun of making peace signs in photos after all? They seemed embarrassed to do it, and really awkward. I wonder why. It's perfectly normal in Japan and Korea. And although they can always argue that we are in neither country and are of neither descent, that's just like saying we shouldn't eat burgers because it's American food. Well, to each his own, I guess.
I'm just glad I got to know people who can be just as crazy as I am. I miss the PM shift people so much!
